FEATHER EXTENSIONS ARE OUT (in fact, they were never in)

How does Steven Tyler do it? Maybe it's natural....

News flash: summer is long gone, so everyone, take out your moldy feather extensions… please! But, hey, maybe you just got them in a week ago (at a kiosk in the mall). You’re so late on this trend, but it’s ok because it’s never too late to rip them off! The stringy things stick off your head so unnaturally. But wait, my feather extension is a real, all-natural feather feather that came off of a real feather bird. That’s gross! How long have you been wearing that thing? Twenty shampoos and blow dries and nights sleeping on it is twenty shampoos and blow dries and nights too much for that poor bird’s feather to endure your beauty-obsessed, human lifestyle. The feather clip-on versions are far worse (see also: clip-on earrings, clip-on sunglasses). Above all, it looks tacky. Leave it to festival-ling hippies and middle school campers to weave feathers in their hair. You were meant for better things.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: