I spent all afternoon today organizing about twenty dresser drawers, three closets (yes, multiple and attached to separate bedrooms of the house), and five sweater boxes that pull out from beneath my bed. It’s far too typical that I have way too much stuff, and going through it was like taking a walk backwards in time. I definitely threw out that giant metallic hobo (farewell, 2008) and scary plaid dress that some heartless saleswoman bullied me into buying (why???). The tailored vests stayed, and so did the leather panel dress (thank goodness) that I exchanged for the fair trade of my firstborn son. This sorting process took something like six hours, so I’m going to save you some time when deciding which fashion faux pas items to toss and which items are worth recycling to reach an updated look.
1) Keep your FURS; toss your DENIM:
This season is all about luxury and elegance and fur is the epitome of both of these. Denim is the undesirable all-American classic of the year, so whether it’s a blazer, dress, or button-up shirt, throw it out!
2) Keep your BOXY BLAZER; toss out items with POINTY STRONG SHOULDERS:
Don’t get me wrong here because the future is still in, just in more tasteful and subtle ways that do not include extra pointy shoulders. Count on getting scoffs and stares with those nipple tips! Instead, channel a strong look with last season’s boxy blazer and this year’s freshest pick: tailored wide-leg crop trousers. Menswear is in, but looking like an alien is out.
3) Keep the LEATHER; toss the PLAID:
In case you haven’t noticed, fetish is in! Last year’s leather is still good, but the plaid and tartan need to take a hike to Goodwill. Trade in cockney collegiate (or sexy lumberjack, whichever you prefer) for sleek and chic dominatrix.
4) Keep your MOTHER’S SKIRTS; toss the BUBBLE HEMS:
Mom skirts are in! Long maxi or medium midis with a good ole A-line reign supreme over teeny bopper minis with bubble hems and cocoon volume. Finally, your mother’s hand-me-downs are worth taking out for a walk, just beware of dated patterns and cheap looking fabrics to avoid looking like a bag lady.